Monday, August 15, 2011

Behold the Beaver

So today we are spicing it up. I am here tonight to express the love that I have in my heart for the one and only Buc-ee's chain of gas stations.



You may be like why the hell would you be writing about a gas station? And to that I reply you are ignorant and know nothing, and you smell like a mongoose. That just happened.

Seriously, I am not talking about the numerous miniature Buc-ee's that dot the Houston area, I am talking about the 3 behemoths that are on the outskirts along the major highways to which I have been to 2. We are talking about the ones that tease you with billboards for hundreds of miles (pretty sure I saw one in Oklahoma today for over 340 miles advanced warning) so that by the time you get there you are begging to check out the clean bathrooms and wide variety of foods they entice you with. You might call it an addiction; I call it dedication and love. Who doesn't love beaver?

People literally become walking advertisements for this place themselves, all over you see the happy beaver slapped on shirts, car stickers, I'll even admit that I was tempted to get a jumper for my cousins baby. It goes just that far, yeah in Texas we get real, deal with it.



Patriotic beaver.



Stuffed beaver.



Look at this circus... This is a freaking gas station in Madisonville, Texas! Do you even know where Madisonville is? People from Madisonville don't even know where the town is, but sure as hell they know that at exit 142 on 45N magic awaits them.



The sheer quantity of goods slapped with the happy beaver is quite frankly overwhelming. I am yet to find a product that hasnt at the least been goof if not damn near amazing.



The beef jerky is one of their star attractions. This is my personal favorite flavors, I also like the jalapeño flavor. They also make good dried sausage, heck you can even get venison hunter's rings people. I reiterate that this is a freaking gas station!



Oh yeah you need a turducken or a jambalaya stuff chicken? They got those too.



And then there are these... Beaver Nuggets. Pretty sure the main ingredient in them is actually crack. I can not actually confirm this due to the lack of it's listing on the ingredient sheet. Don't believe me? Try it for yourself and get back to me.

Ok so basically if you are driving near Madisonville on 45 (between Dallas and Houston), along 10 near Lulling (between San Antonio and Houston) or somehow you find yourself on 288 in Lake Jackson stop at one of these glorious theme parks of gas stations. Seriously, show up, drink the kool-aid (or in this case their homemade root beer or cherry lime-ade, both made with pure cane sugar yikes), and buy a beaver if you so feel inspired.

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