Is That A Boat Along The Highway?

If you have ever driven around Houston I am sure that you have seen one of these odd sites around the city.  Yes, that is right, a giant boat just hanging out on the side of the road.

This is Captain Tom's, the boat along I-10 past Fry Road in Katy...  Famous for its oysters and micheladas, but sadly I only wander in here at lunch so I avoid both.  Note this is an extremely difficult feat to perform for someone that loves micheladas as much as I do...

The menu is simple to say the least, basically your options are raw, fried, and a few grilled things here and there.  Then again, we do not come here for the gourmet, we come for the delicious.

Their shrimp and crap gumbo is just that, a spicy bowl that I have been known to smother in hot sauce and suck down in about 2 minutes flat disregarding all health and safety and dealing with the burned tongue and mouth in the afternoon.  The flavors are rich and the soup is good and thick like any gumbo should be.  Note that I am not from Louisiana, nor am I in any way related to the Cajun culture, so I may be completely out of touch with what good gumbo is but for my Texas tongue this does just fine.

As I mentioned, your other option is basically fried foods.  This is the Texas Mini, a dish that family friends directed me two with a couple planks of fried catfish and some fried shrimp with a decent bed of fries.  The batter is a grainy cornmeal, so it is not the best batter I have had and as you can see some days it does not batter well, but the flavor is decent and the fish is pretty dang good.

This is my favorite aspect of Toms, for those of you confused, this is cocktail sauce.  I know you are thinking "Wait, doesn't cocktail sauce come out of a jar?" and you are wrong, oh so wrong.  Here there is a tub of horseradish for you to add into your ketchup to make it as crazy as you would like, and let's just say I like it crazy.

It's All Greek To Me

Let's start tonight's blog post off with some humor...

Ironically their burgers are made from the same material as the costume.

Now on to some real grub a dub dub.

Niko Niko's is a pretty awesome Greek joint on Montrose here in Houston, so good even Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives rolled up here one day. This has become one of my favorite Greek restaurants in all of Houston (rivaled closely by Yia Yia Mary's but you will have to wait for that write up) and so far I have not found an item on the menu I have not enjoyed.

The hummus may have an odd green hue to it but do not let that distract you from everything this plate has to offer. First of all, the veggies are a great change up from your standard pita as a dipping device, especially the crunchy bell peppers.  But wait, that is not all they mix up in this dish, you also get some pita chip so once again change up that texture and flavor and BOOM.  That does not mean the pitas are not good though, far from it, they are basically like little pillows from heaven that come out hot and fluffy, so dangerous.

Sea salt and oregano...  they keep it real on the Niko's tables.

Here is the crown jewel, the gyro, one of those absolutely awesome pitas full of tender meat, veggies, and a delicious tzatziki sauce. For those of you not in the know, tzatziki is a yogurt based sauce with cucumber and other flavors adding a cool creamy topping to gyros.  The gyro is fantastic, but look at those fries, fresh cut fries covered in flavor with just the right level of crunch.  Basically, this dish is amazing.

For those of you who may not be a fan of the gyro (not sure if we should be friends anymore if that is the case) they have a pretty amazing menu of Greek fare.  This is the Pastichio / Mousaka Combo, and of course there is a side of pita and fries because they do not want you to leave hungry.  Pastichio is kind of like a Greek version of lasagna, layers of pasta, meat, cheese, and sauce.  Mousaka is another baked item but this it is almost more like an eggplant casserole and is very hearty.  Both of these come cooked in a bechamel sauce so you know it is healthy.  If I had to choose one of the other the Pastichio wins hands down, you really cannot go wrong with pasta.


I have only hit the tip of the iceberg in my multiple trips to this little gem, but Greek cuisine is quite frankly amazing.  The flavors are rich and varied and you can gnaw on anything from lamb to delicious veggie items, basically the whole crowd would be pleased.

2+2=Awesome

So I felt bad leaving tonight's blog posting on a sour note, especially after my Kansas State Wildcats pulled off a pretty exciting victory over those silly cows from Austin.  So naturally, I decided to double up this evening and leave you with some pleasant thoughts.  The title is in reference to combining two of my favorite things, brunch and Tex-Mex, so yes it is awesome.

Cyclone Anaya was a wrestler, evidently a pretty good wrestler, although I highly doubt he was ever quite so good as this man.

Unfortunately, the Macho Man never hawked anything better than Slim Jim (granted those can be dangerously addictive), ergo he loses to Cyclone in the context of this blog.  Cyclone also beat out another former wrestler turned restaurant owner... Basically, most wrestlers should stay out of the food industry but I for one am thankful Cyclone and his family did not, cue the entrance song, and brace yourself for Cyclone Anaya's.

Chips and salsa... Better than any pyrotechnics or stage music I ever witness on a wrestling show.

I came here for one reason and one reason only this day though, I came for the brunch.  For those of you that remember the rules about brunch from my previous blog postings, that means it is okay to drink in the morning.  Not that I ever need much rationalization in the first place for it, but this makes it a little more socially acceptable.

For those of you out there who are amateurs, you should start with this, a good Spicy Bloody Mary.  Unless of course you have an unnatural fear of vodka or are simply a fan of beer the Michelada may be more your style.

For you astute readers out there you may have noticed a change of venue, we decided that the weather was too nice to sit inside at a bar so we took to the patio.  Please disregard all shadows, the sun was not kind and I was drinking, so it basically makes me a less than amateur photographer.  I do weddings.  Now that the shameless plug is out of the way, let's continue on with some grubbage.

Once again ignore the shadow, but here we have what I like to consider a staple of my Tex-Mex/Mexican/Anything breakfast, Chorizo and Eggs.  Scrambled eggs mixed in with the spicy Mexican sausage (yes there are differences in chorizo based on its country of origin, and I will be frank with you, from what I have tasted I think the Mexicans do it best), served of course with a side of frijoles and rice.  This is quite possibly one of the best hangover breakfasts out there, even better if you can find it wrapped in a tortilla to avoid spilling all over yourself as you lay in a puddle of humiliation.  Or you can be a real winner and go drink while you eat it off a fancy plate.  Your call, I am just the blogger getting carpal tunnel here for your own amusement.  Now onto the kinkier brunch item.

Look it comes on an elongated fancy plate so it must be good right?  Yes in fact that is correct, these my cheeky little friend are Crab Cakes Florentine.  Two jumbo lump crab cakes, topped with spinach, poached eggs, and wait for it... jalapeno hollandaise sauce.  I am going to give you a moment to let that all soak in and collect your thoughts.........................................

So I may not be the biggest fan of crabs, but I am a huge fan of Eggs Benedict, so I decided to go over the top here and give this one a go.  Look at those gigantic pieces of crab! Seriously, this thing is amazing, I mean the sauce and crab is so good that you almost forget that there is a huge pile of healthy stuff wedged in between it.  That is until you spend the rest of your day picking out pieces from your teeth, me personally, I like to leave them in as a badge of honor, rubbing it in everyone's faces that "Yes, I did just eat spinach want to fight about it?"

Thanks for tolerating tonight's crazy double blog post, I would think that those buggers would have been worth your time and patience.

They Can't All Be Winners

So I generally try to only cover places that I enjoy.  I mean why would I want to put out all of the effort to write a blog on something that I did not even enjoy eating?  Then again there are days where I have to prove that quite frankly I do not enjoy everything, and some places are just that bad that I should probably issue a warning.

I had one of these experiences at Frank's Grill (1915 Mangum in Houston), I stumbled on this place while looking for a bank and a greasy spoon to fill my stomach.  The parking lot was full so naturally I figured that it must be a decent place, boy was I wrong.

I decided to go with the Southern greasy spoon staple of biscuits and gravy.  I mean really, it cannot get much simpler than some good old B&G but evidently not.  While the biscuit was decent I have no clue what that stuff on top of it is.  I mean I have seen white gravy but usually it at least has a few specks of pepper in it or something and instead this was simply a gelatinous blob ruining a perfectly good biscuit.  Strike 1.

After seeing the giant pile of hash browns cooking up on the flat top I at least had a little higher hope for my sides.  The eggs were once again flavorless, but then again eggs really are not rocket science.  The hash browns however did have some unique flavor to them, I am 90% certain that they season their hash browns with some for of cleaning product, they certainly tasted pine tree fresh... Strike 2.

I decided I did not even need a strike three to write Frank's off and there you have it... One place this guy will never be grubbing at ever again. Boom.

The Real Deal

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I am a big fan of Robb Walsh.  In fact for Christmas I even received his Tex-Mex Grill Cookbook and Tex-Mex Cookbook, and highly recommend them for anyone who is looking to make some autentico Tex-Mex or just have some different recipes to spice it up.  Robb's favorite project of mine does not come on paper though, it is a collaboration with the always awesome Bryan Caswell and Bill Floyd (the team behind some of Houston's best places to eat), El Real Tex-Mex.

El Real is housed in the old Tower Theater on Westheimer near Montrose, and they have done a great job of maintaining not only the essence of the theater, but the essence of classic Tex-Mex and the pioneers behind it.

There is usually a classic black and white Western, or some John Wayne movie playing on the screen, and the room is filled with pictures of famous Tex-Mex figures like Mama Ninfa.  The menu does an even better job of paying homage to these people, and the history behind great foods like puffy tacos or stacked enchiladas.

My personal favorite dish is the Enchiladas #7, cheese enchiladas covered in a delicious chile con carne that is second to none I have ever tasted.  The real clincher here is the fried egg, our first trip here the waiter tried to convince us to try it, and we just stared at him like he was certifiably insane.  Needless to say, listening to that man was quite possibly one of the greatest decisions ever made, and sense then I do not know if I can ever truly go back to egg-less enchiladas.

That is one delicious mess my friends.

My other favorite dish, in a whole different flavor ballpark is known as the Chingo Bling Plate, named after a local Houston rapper.  I do not really know any of the man's music, but I can say he has his name on an awesome dish of a smoked chicken relleno, a chicken enchilada smothered in salsa verde, and quite possibly one of the best pork tamales I have ever had.  Even the rice and beans do these dishes justice, whereas usually I can resist the side dishes, the rice is moist and the beans are creamy making them absolutely amazing. All of this delicious food would mean nothing of course if you did not have something delicious to wash it down with,and this evening I was knocking back the Victorias.

Victoria is a darker lager from Grupo Modelo (the same company that brings us the Modelo line and always popular Corona, not to mention my favorite beer in Mexico known as Leon), that only began importing to the US in the last few years.  All I can say is better late than never.

So if you find yourself in Houston and craving a delicious, not to mention real, Tex-Mex experience wander on down to El Real and let your taste buds partake in this fiesta.

Parlez-vous français? Part Deux

I first visited Café Bretagne a few months ago, and it was quite frankly delicious.  So naturally, I had to make a return trip to this quiet little cafe.

Once again that dangerous French bread made an appearance at my table.  Last time I went with Salade Ouissant but decided to venture down a different road this go around, the Escalope de Poulet a la Normande.  This tender chicken breast is topped with a mushroom cream sauce and served up with a salad and fries.

The salad was the same rich flavored dressing that appeared on the Ouissant, and some delicious fresh veggies.

The fries were nothing to write home about, but still a good salty accent to the rich creaminess of the other items on the plate.

Unfortunately, the meal had to end, and once again that mean my will power was to be pushed to its very limit, and once again it would snap.

I suppose as on small consolation, I did try a different crepe this go around, opting for the honey crepe instead of the classic crepe I devoured last time.  This one was still devoured, but it was oh so delicious.

Now in closing, I must deliver some bad news bears upon you my loyal readers, Café Bretagne has closed its doors, now it may only be temporary but I could really use a crepe right about now... Damn diets.

KING OF THE CASTLE

So my mom's family is from St. Louis, a city rich in cultural cuisines especially in areas such as The Hill or Lafayette.  However, when we visit there, we rarely step foot in these cathedrals of dining, instead we often find ourselves wandering beneath the gleaming turrets of another institution not necessarily known for its epicurean delights.

That's right... White Castle.  The chain known for its belly bombers (as my grandpa calls them) and a crappy movie.

The low grade beef patties are artfully crafted into machined squares, grilled in a pile of onions and served up on miniature buns.

If that does not scream quality and delicious I do not know what does.  If burgers are not your thing there is always a fall back option of my favorite part of the chicken, the rings.

We come here for nostalgic reasons, but if you wander into one of these places just make sure you have some Tums at the ready for dessert.